What Happens When Product Mascots Get Their Swerve On?

In this post, we won't be looking at movies. But this blog is dedicated to movie critiques. I don't care, fuck you. We will be looking at product mascots--which I've mostly been exposed to through TV so...close enough. Let's take a look at how many product mascots are clearly the result of an existing mascot fucking the shit out of an inanimate object.

1)



        
sticks old wiener in: 


to make:

 

2)

 

throws bird-dick amongst:

 

 

to shamefully birth:

 

3)

 

 

can't keep the money bag in his pants with:

 

 

and out pops this salty horror:

 

4)

 

faps into:

(yes, Ron Howard is an inanimate object)

to create marshmallowy McGinger:

 

5)

plunders:

 

and poops out:

 

6)

dangerously rams:

as well as:

 

 

to create: