How movies teach us valuable things... like stereotypes: The Princess Bride (1987)

As a teaching aid far superior to books, movies have the ability to expose us to stereotypes and prejudices we wouldn't otherwise be aware of as we go through our everyday lives. The Princess Bride is a fantastical tale about friendship, true love, and adventure. More valuable than these boring, wholesome lessons, however, are the other not-so-subtle teachings it offers. Here are some of the lessons I learned from watching this movie:

People who have physical deformities are either evil, foreign, or stupid. This includes short people, bald people, giants, and those with extra fingers. It is O.K. to openly resent them.

All Spaniards are drunks, and are not to be trusted. They are obsessed with revenge, and repeat their name frequently in inappropriate circumstances.

Don't ever be tempted to make friends with an albino. They are gross, they live underground, and they construct elaborate torture machines to drain years from your life. Like people with physical deformities, it is O.K. to openly resent them.

Finally, if your grandfather wants to come over in the middle of the day to read you a story alone in your bedroom while your mother is at work, you are probably going to be molested. The best thing to do is repress the memory now, and talk about it later.